Flying

2:16 29^th October 2012 Dubai Airport

The flight to Dubai was fine ended up with the squits about half way through the flight so that was fun. Particularly for the nice chap I was sitting next to, I was asleep for half the flight so for those couple of hours I had no control on the audibility of my arse breathing. Flying past Bagdhad at night and then seeing Dubai’s ridiculous ‘wiz khalifa’ skyscraper was a highlight, when you notice the buildings next to it that are clearly large in there own right its made me feel sick. If I was the architect I’d persuade them to have two maybe three towers of reasonable height. Probably would be sacked but at least I could walk away knowing I was suggesting the sensible thing from a logistical standpoint.

Dubai airport is nice, lot of minorities like, and signs have words in foreign and English. I am practising writing words in foreign translation from the signs, So far I have nailed toilets, prayer room, and duty free. Should come in use at some point I’d imagine going a lot of foreign countries. Walked through the smoking lounge and my lungs are still burning, facilities here are fantastic though, so hopefully I can find the complimentary chemo suite. I imagine you have to be in business class at the very least to use it.

 At one of the gates a fella is just on his laptop watching hardcore porn. Must be around 50, bottle of whiskey, brick of cigarettes not even in a quasi private area of the terminal just relaxing at the gate waiting for his flight. I’m not entirely familiar with Dubai’s laws on watching lewd and graphic scenes of a sexual nature in public but I can’t imagine it would be looked upon very favourably. I think he is just getting a knob on for the hell of it, I can’t see his right hand. Bit worried for the chap to be honest and whoever has the misfortune of sitting next to him on the next flight.

Despite seeing this very clearly and feeling in relatively lucid I could very well have just imagined it. I haven’t felt like I can trust my eyes since I saw a man approximately 25 stone in weight trying on a pair of Crampons in an adventure store in Cornwall. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Brian Blessed, think he hung up his Crampons a long time ago.

About to head on the flight to Mumbai, more Emirates food, more in flight entertainment (including Moonrise kingdom [for a second time in 12 hours] and a pretty dire cricket game with American commentary [imagine ‘leg by’ shouted in an American accent; I cant wait until I get a power over I reckon it’ll be greeted by fireworks and tickertape] ) hopefully less pooing.